Why do we need beer?

We need beer because we are Australians!  We also like to get smashed (Australianese for drunk) and do stupid things like have sex with fat chicks. When we are smashed we look like this, which is a good thing because we look really good. We look really good normally but when we are smashed we look even more good.

We also need beer because Australian chicks really like drunk guys, especially when they drink expensive beers like Corona, VB and Fosters.  Chicks are afraid of going home with a guy who doesn't drink beer because they think he could be a terrorist, so that's why all guys who don't drink beer are gay and don't get to have sex.  In Australia all our pubs (Australianese for bars) have beer and they make you drink it before they let you in incase you are a terrorist. I don't know why they do that though, because all terrorists have explosives strapped to themselves so you can spot them easily, but sometimes Australians aren't that smart.

Also we need beer because it is healthy. People who drink 24 beers a day don't die of things that other people die of, so they are healthier.  A good mate told us that he has been drinking beer since he was born and he hasn't died yet, so it must be true.

Another reason why we need beer is because when you have had a really hard day at work you can go home and drink lots of beer then everything is ok again.  A mate told us that he stopped drinking water and drank beer for a year and his life got better ... by a real lot. 

If you donate to those starving children in Africa you should donate to us as well because beer is more expensive here. Over there they get beers for 1 cent each, but we have to pay about $1 which is like 100 times more expensive.  You may think that in Africa they spend the money they get on food, but they don't ... they all spend it on beer but don't tell you. I know it's true because I had a mate once who told me he saw an African guy drinking a beer.  That's also why Africans can't be terrorists, because we all know terrorists don't drink beer and can't sing Midnight Oil songs.

Please note the opinions expressed here are not the opinions of the owner of this domain.
He was having sex with a fat chick so we decided to hire him
He also claimed to own a porn site and we had to see that!